Don't Be a Loser on Facebook

WHAT. A. WEIRD. DAY.

So my general rule of thumb is that people who argue with other people on social media (especially Facebook) are really dumb. Like, who argues with strangers? Who has that much time to waste?

...Well me, apparently. Let me tell you a story. Bear with me, it's long.  So there's this page/group that I (as well as many of my friends) are a part of on Facebook. It's a community page to keep the citizens informed on what is happening in our city. People post about a variety of things-good places to eat, bad places to eat, issues in the neighborhood, customer service experiences, etc... In fact, the page is called "What's Up Corona?!" ...Pretty self explanatory, AMIRIGHT? I've mostly been an observer. I read the posts, occasionally commenting on something interesting here and there. Until today. Holy Crap Today.

I had a rather annoying experience at the local Home Depot this afternoon. So I did what any other self-respecting and helpful person would do...I posted about it. I wanted my fellow Coronians to be spared the "minor" inconveniences I so woefully suffered. Here is what I said:

"Ran into Home Depot today to grab some paint samples and carpet cleaner. Upon entering the store an employee told me my daughter couldn't ride in the front of the basket, she had to be strapped in the seat. (Ok fine. They are looking out for my kids' safety)...then we head to the paint department where we are approached by a Solar Panel salesman who would NOT take "no" for an answer... After I told him several times we weren't interested. Next, we head to the cleaning supplies aisle where we are once again approached by a sales person who wanted to send someone out to test our water pressure. (When I declined she gave me attitude.) ...FINALLY we made it to the check out where we were asked 3 TIMES if we were paying with a Home Depot credit card and if we wanted to open an account. HOLY MOLY. I will seriously avoid going in there ever again as I despise being harassed. A quick trip turned into 45 minutes. (Which is a LIFETIME when you have 2 toddlers in tow!)"

As I hit, "share", I thought, "Look at me being so diligent and informative. Who doesn't like a little rant from time to time? It keeps us humble!" I set my phone down and decided to rest while my little one was napping.

Nope. Bad idea, Jamie. There was no resting to be had. I apparently just woke the most opinionated Judgy Mc.Judgerson that ever lived...

What was so bad about a simple little post about the hardware store? Everything. Everything in the entire world was wrong with it. Little did I know that I had just become the worst mother in the whole universe. THE. WHOLE. UNIVERSE.

I don't want to call this lady out on her comments, because that might be illegal or something. (But her name rhymes with Smelissa.)

So, Smelissa saw that I had a rough day...but she wanted to make it better. So she called me out. Her first comment on my post was about how I was lucky the lady told me to strap my kid in because I could be spending the rest of the day in the emergency room. Ok, I took it. She's right, I should count my blessings. Whatever.

But guys...Smelissa wasn't done. She had an article to back her point up. She posted it. Fantastic.

 Some words were said about her being dramatic and this ANGERED her. Things went from 0-10 in 5 minutes and the next thing I know I'm relying on sarcastic memes to slay this crazy lady's accusations. I'm sweating and laughing and filled with regret that I even posted the dumb status to begin with.

She called me a selfie-taker and accused me of taking pictures of my home cooked dinner. (I didn't even MAKE dinner last night, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) And I appointed her as the Shopping-Cart-Police. She quoted Forest Gump or something. She even called me sad. I asked her how I could get her to shut up.  Things were going down. 'Bows were being thrown and I was getting ready to take off my virtual hoop earrings. Ain't NOBODY gonna question my MAMA BEAR parenting, you know? It was getting real.

And then, like angels sent straight from heaven, I suddenly had an army of other Bad Moms/Dads/Whoever blastin' Smelissa. We were witty, we were quick and we were relentless. But we kept it C-L-A-S-S-Y. We shut her down. (Ok well she may have just blocked me but same thing, right?)

(If anyone wants to borrow my gang of Bad Moms let me know. We shut haters down for a small fee.)

...The post now has 300+ comments. Whoa. Anywho. What is my point of this? I'm not really certain...but it's hard out there for a Mama...we gotta stick together!

***Got to give a shout out to my friends who so quickly ran to my aid in my time of trouble. You know who you are. And Mary, the admin homegirl, for not deleting my post and letting it blow up in all it's glory. You the real MVP!